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How to Flirt With Your Ex Boyfriend – Can It Help You to Get Him Back?

How to Flirt With Your Ex Boyfriend – Can It Help You to Get Him Back?

If you’ve ever wondered whether flirting with your ex is a good idea, the answer is definitely YES!

You want to rekindle the attraction between you, to get him thinking about you positively again. But with an ex boyfriend, it’s important to make things new and different. You don’t want to remind him the bad old days.

So when you are seeing your ex again, flirting is a great technique for getting back under his skin. But how to flirt with your ex boyfriend is a subtle art; there are different rules and techniques for flirting with someone you already know well.

It was easy to keep some mystery when you were first getting to know each other, but now when you need to recreate that you must refine your flirting skills.

Flirting builds attraction, and that’s what you need to recreate in order to get your ex boyfriend back. Remember those first few weeks together when you couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondering if he was feeling the same?

This is the attraction and excitement you need to get back, and flirting is one of the best ways to get your ex thinking about you romantically again.

The Art of How to Flirt with Your Ex Boyfriend

Creating mystery is essential.

This is one of the things that has been lost through your intimacy, especially if you have been pursuing your boyfriend actively since the break up. Flirting with him will help to undo the negative impression you have been giving, and make him see you in a new and different light.

should you flirt with your ex

You want him to see the new you. So you have to believe in the new you.

Remember what you are saying about yourself when you flirt.

star 10 I am cool

star 10 I am confident

star 10 I am attractive

star 10 I am sexy

To be effective though, you need to make some subtle changes in the way you flirt with him. You are having fun and showing off your allure, not trying to tell him that you are attracted to him.

So flirting with your ex boyfriend means using different rules, and you need to get it right to have the best chance of turning things around and winning him back.

  • Keep it subtle, especially at first. You want him to be uncertain whether you are actually flirting with him at all. The more he wonders, the more he will think about you – positively.
  • Don’t talk about your relationship. Especially avoid anything negative from the past – you don’t want to remind him about any of the bad things.
  • Avoid contacting your boyfriend when you are feeling low or over-emotional. Especially avoid all drunk dialling and texting as you will immediately undo all the good you have done.
  • Don’t use jealousy as a weapon, as it is liable to backfire. If you want to date someone else, then be prepared for your ex to think you have moved on so that he turns his back on you completely. For more about this, visit this page.
  • Be noncommittal when you talk about your ex. Don’t rubbish him but don’t tell everybody how much you are still in love with him either. Keep your comments friendly but neutral.
  • Be patient and expect things to take time. Don’t ask your boyfriend out on a date the moment he is speaking to you again. Stick to casual meetings and general socializing while you rebuild trust and attraction. This will give you the perfect scope for subtle flirting!
  • When you do see your ex, remember that less is more. Keep conversations brief and upbeat. Make it clear you are filling your life with new, fun activities but don’t go into details. You want him to wonder and think about you.
  • Be friendly and fun, but avoid heavy topics. Especially don’t be sentimental or emotional with your boyfriend, as your aim is to attract and intrigue him, not overwhelm him with passionate avowals of your feelings.
  • Focus on the future. Talk about the things you want to do now that you have the time and freedom. Make the breakup look as if it has turned out well for you, rather than destroying your life.
  • Keep your mutual friends, but don’t confide in them. If they ask questions, smile and change the subject. Get them intrigued too.
  • Listen to what those mutual friends say. You might learn some useful things. But don’t probe. People are more likely to let things drop when they feel relaxed.
  • Follow up happy encounters with short, fun, flirty texts. Only send one, and don’t repeat it until your boyfriend replies. Don’t talk about your relationship or your feelings. For more about how to text your ex, visit this page.

Your aim is to create new and happy memories in your ex’s mind, and make him see the future as full of possibilities – possibilities of spending it with you.

So how do you make all this happen? What is flirting anyway?

How to Flirt With Your Ex and Build Attraction

Flirting is what you do naturally when you find someone attractive.

Eye Contact

how to flirt with a man

There is nothing sexier than looking deep into someone’s eyes. When you first met, you probably found yourselves unable to look away. But now you need to be less obvious. Look into his eyes, but don’t hold his gaze too long. Smile and look away.

Light touching

the art of subtle flirting

Let you fingers graze his forearm or his shoulder. Make it more of a tease than a caress, so that he’s not sure whether you’re doing it because you still want him or just because you feel so comfortable with him.

Compliment, Tease and Play

how to flirt with your ex

Men love to play. You can build a much stronger bond by playing with him that through a barrage of conversation. Throw in the occasional compliment, then tease him about it. You want to create uncertainty alongside excitement.

Don’t talk too much

using flirting to get your ex back

Listen instead. Men love to feel they are being heard. And you will learn much more by listening.

Don’t try to hurry things. You will need patience and persistence. He needs to feel comfortable and relaxed around you before he will start thinking seriously about getting back together.

How to Flirt With Your Ex – Keep Him Guessing

Avoid making your motives too obvious.

You don’t want your boyfriend to think that you have moved on, but you don’t want him to be sure that you want him back either.

Paint pictures in words; pictures of fun things you’d like to do; things it would be fun to do together. But don’t suggest doing them together. Let him fill in that bit in his own mind.

It’s a cat-and-mouse game. The cats see the mouse; is convinced he can catch it, but never quite succeeds. So he goes on trying. He goes on trying because every time he thinks “THIS time, I’m going to win”.

He always has to feel he has a chance.

But don’t rush into intimacy.  Give things time to develop so that the excitement and anticipation have a chance to build between you.

You will know you have succeeded when your boyfriend starts seeking you out, calling or texting you and asking you for a date.

Those flirty exchanges can really get him thinking about you again, even if he’s reluctant to see you right now. But do you feel confident about striking exactly the right note?

You certainly don’t want to go OTT, so that your boyfriend sees straight through your attempts to fascinate him. So make sure you don’t lose your cool with the help of The Ex Boyfriend Guide. Find out all about it by clicking the link below.

book dreams-compressed

12 Responses to How to Flirt With Your Ex Boyfriend – Can It Help You to Get Him Back?

  1. my bf want breakup bcz i lied too much about my x bf bcz i don’t want to feel him jealous and he was saying his trust was broken n he want breakup bt i luv him a lot and i don’t want to live without him and he also luv me but he was trying to ignoring me what i can do for being again in happy relationship.

  2. id need some outside advice too please .. :-(..

    we broke up..7 months ago? And we still cant let each other go.. hes sleeping with some other chick as it seems..

    we still have so many friends we “share”.. his Family cant let me go.. and he said the whole Thing upsets him a lot still..and he still fights with his decision.

    … i dunno why he doesnt wanna give us another Chance..
    (his best friends said im the kinda Girl u marry and have a Family with..and he seemed i deserve that but thinkgs he wasnt ready for it)

    i dunno what to do.. we hear each other still A LOT (not kidding)..(he doesnt like it when i cut the Connection and me neither when he does)

    its crazy.. any ideas? :(..

    • Hi Gracie,

      I have just published a post which might help you understand your boyfriend’s confusion a bit better. I’m not saying this entirely explains his behavior (as I don’t know enough about your relationship), but it sounds as if it might be relevant.

    • You need to calm down. You are very young, and this is probably your first experience of this kind of emotional trauma. Despite how it looks to you, this is a very common situation and a very common reaction. You will surprise him most if you don’t over-react. Try to let your feelings flow over you, instead of allowing them to rule you. Your feelings are quite normal, but no matter how strong they are, they are temporary. You won’t feel like this forever.

  3. Okay..i am lost what to do i miss him we broke up yesterday and we have school and we are all in the same classes and everything so..and i want him back but i don’t want to go too all complicated ened cause.. family issues

  4. Hey I just wanted your help . I have split up from my long distance ex boyfriend for 6 months and we have been on and off talk and. I am meeting up with few friends next weekend and he is going to be there and I have not see him in 5 month , I am really nerves to see him . I really would like to get him back i did tell him before Christmas how I felt and he said if thing were different so I was wondering if you can help me to get him back by subtly flirting The only problem is I don’t really know how to flit . Please can you help.

    • Try not to show him that you feel nervous! I know that’s hard, but remember that he will probably be nervous too, so let that thought give you confidence. You need to keep a balance between letting him know you’re glad to see him without overwhelming him with your enthusiasm. Telling him outright how you feel though is not a good idea – keep it subtle rather than obvious.

      • Hey Sarah me and my boyfriend broke a couple of weeks ago he has been lieing to people about how and why it ended and I’m not happy so I talk to him about it and he just flipped and i still like him and people say he still likes me and I want him back but I lied to him twice and he doesn’t believe me anymore my stupid fault and he lied to me a couple of time, I just don’t know if we are a good match and if I should try to get him back. Plz help

        • You both sound too immature for a serious relationship. Try backing off for long enough to get things into a better perspective. A healthy relationship can never be built on lies.

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