Do you like having men friends, and get on well with them?
Surely having men friends and knowing how to get on with men is a great advantage when you want to find a boyfriend?
If that’s you, then you probably have a lot of guy friends you hang out with regularly and whose company you enjoy. And having this diverse social circle enriches your life and boosts your desirability factor in the eyes of the opposite sex.
Or does it?
It’s true that if you get on well with men, it’s a great indicator that you would be a great girlfriend. But somehow it’s not happening. And although having men friends means you know lots of great guys, you never seem to find a potential boyfriend among them. Or if you do, you don’t seem to be able to cross the barrier from being great mates to being boyfriend and girlfriend.
So what’s the problem?
The trouble is that having too many guy friends can actually diminish your sex appeal and feminine allure. It might sound crazy, but there are several reasons why this really is true.
Having Men Friends Can Mean Being One of the Guys
Because you spend so much time with the guys, you start to become one of them. You get used to relating to men in an entirely platonic way. They are your mates and romance isn’t on the menu, so you lose any trace of sexual frisson in your interactions with them. You don’t flirt with them, and you become complacent and even careless in your dealings with them.
In time you find this becomes a habit, so that you stop looking at the men you know as potential lovers. You are too used to treating them and THINKING of them as mates. And so you lose much of your attraction potential to the guys you meet, because you play down your feminine allure and treat them as platonic friends rather than lovers.
Closing the Door on Love
As you get used to your relaxed, at ease, asexual interaction with your male friends; the possibility of romance becomes, in contrast, more and more of a fantasy.
In theory it’s still what you want, but in practice you stop being able to get your thoughts into the “more than friends” mindset. You no longer have any romantic expectations of the men you know, and you carry that forward with you when you meet new men.
You may feel that this is all a bit far-fetched, and that you still know a great guy when you see one. But how often DO you see one, and when you do, how easily do you attract him?
The trouble is that habits are easy to form and hard to break.
You become used to having men friends, and you start to see other men as potential friends too, rather than as boyfriends. And you find yourself wondering why there are no good men out there.
Remember to Flirt and Be Feminine
Of course there are, plenty of them. And you need to keep your man radar alert and be aware of the men you meet. Having men friends is great, but not when you get into the habit of never seeing them as anything else.
And it’s important not to forget how to flirt.
Flirting plays up your feminine side to men, and that is the side of you that attracts them. Flirting also plays up your fun side, and tells a man you have sexy thoughts about him and find him attractive. We are instinctively drawn to people who like us; so flirting encourages men to find you sexually attractive.
Having Men Friends Can Put Other Men Off
Another unseen effect of being surrounded by platonic male friends is that it can put off the men who might be interested in you. They have no way of knowing whether one of the guys around you is your boyfriend, and they will not want to take the risk of a confrontation with several hostile men. Men prefer the path of least resistance, and they will move on to a more approachable woman.
So try to keep your friendships balanced, and don’t lose sight of the male-female dynamic in your relationships with men. Remind your guy pals that you are a girl by flirting with them occasionally. They will enjoy it, and you will keep your man magnet skills in good shape.
And don’t forget your female friends. You need to keep your feminine energy alive, and spending time with the girls is a good way to do that. Remind yourself of a few girly preoccupations and recharge your feminine batteries.
Then you can show your guy pals that actually, you’re not a bit like them after all.
Would you like to go further? Do you have a special guy friend, one who you secretly like a lot more than you’re letting on? A lot more than he knows?
Have you ever tried to show him, or tell him?
It’s not easy to change a friend into a boyfriend. You risk your friendship if he doesn’t share your feelings, and you’ll have to face him in the future and pretend nothing has changed.
But what if you knew what to say to him so that he starts thinking about you just the same way you are thinking about him?
What if there was a way to make him see you as the girlfriend he really wants? Well there is. Go here to find out how.
This Post Has 2 Comments
I have a huge crush on one of my men friends. Sometimes I think he feels the same; sometimes I tell myself I’m imagining it. I’d really like to have a date with him. Should I just ask him out? We’re in the same social group, so if he says no, it could be really, really awkward and embarrassing. But I’m afraid he might suspect anyway. What should I do?
Try flirting with him, and see how he responds. If he does like you, then he’ll not only flirt back; he’ll start paying you more attention too. But I wouldn’t suggest asking him straight out for a date. Give him good reason to believe you’ll say yes, and if it’s what he wants, he’ll ask you himself.