Do you want to know how to get a boyfriend? A real boyfriend, not just someone you see casually; who you know is not really committed to you, and might even be dating other women?
Do you have your eye on someone already?
If so, then you need to catch his eye in a way that makes him see you as super-attractive and desirable. But what if you just don’t seem to meet any great man?
Feeling you are stuck in a Man Desert is discouraging and gives you a famine mentality. This is no help at all when you want a great love life.
How to Get a Boyfriend – First Meet Him!
In fact there are men all around you – at work, in coffee bars, in the grocery store, at the gym, in the street, in the park. And the funny thing is that lots of those men are stuck in a Woman Desert, not knowing how to meet women, let alone get a date. With all these men around, how to get a boyfriend should be easy and straightforward.
So how do you meet these men?
Well, actually, it’s quite easy. And the trick is: be open to meeting them.
So what do I mean by that?
I mean that you should look outwards and be interested in the world around you, and in the people passing by. Of course there are obvious ways in which you can meet new people; by joining clubs and classes, and making full use of the social possibilities offered by your hobbies.
And these are all great ideas, which should certainly widen your social circle, and bring you new friends. But it’s important not to have the kind of closed mindset that only allows you to be open to meeting guys in certain situations. Remember what I said above? That guys are all around you – at work, in coffee bars, in the grocery store, at the gym, in the street, in the park?
Be ready to talk to any of these guys if the opportunity arises. Better still, if a guy catches your eye, make the opportunity. There’s no need at all to look pushy or desperate. Just be casually friendly. Practice by talking to the people you meet, the people you’ve been ignoring up to now, so that it becomes easy and natural.
Smiling will do more than anything else to make you look open and approachable.
Then Catch His Eye So That HE Notices YOU
Many men will admit that they are hopeless at reading women’s signals, so you might have to ditch subtle and go for what will probably be closer to skywriting: “Hey! Handsome! Come and have a chat!” But no-one wants to be that crass, so it’s better to start with your smile.
If you catch the eye of a man you want to attract, smile and then look away. It’s not a new trick, of course, but it always works. If he’s interested in you too, he’ll keep glancing back at you to see if you’re still looking.
Have something ready to say if he actually comes over to talk to you. But if he doesn’t, you can give him the chance to talk to you by asking him a question. This will allow to you start the ‘chatting up’ phase where you both play and flirt to see if there is a genuine spark between you.
If you are not very good at this then you need to practise.
Do so by flirting with the men you meet casually during your day. Smile and show appreciation when a man helps you or does you a service. Compliment him on something. You will find that most men really enjoy it: it brightens up their day and makes them feel good.
And because it’s not important it’s easy to do as it carries no emotional weight. But it will give you the confidence to be more playful and flirty with the men you want to attract.
Don’t Make This Mistake With the Man You Are Desperate to Attract
When you see a man who really fires your imagination it’s easy to get carried away. By which I mean getting tunnel vision about how he sees you in your determination to recruit him as your boyfriend.
What does this mean?
Well, showing up uninvited in places where you expect to find him. Dressing in an overtly sexual way to try to ‘seduce’ him. Waylaying him so that you can issue ‘invitations’ to a party whose timing can be altered to fit in with his schedule.
In a word, chasing him.
Any attractive and desirable man will see through this in an instant. Remember he will already have plenty of women pursuing him; telling him how wonderful he is, making it clear that they are sexually available to him, trying to anticipate and then fulfil his fantasies.
For him women like this a two a penny.
So don’t make the mistake of joining them.
Instead of thinking ‘How can I get him to want me?’ think ‘How can I connect with him so that he wants to chase me?’ Avoid appearing to want something from him. Make it subtly clear that you have much to give instead.
Don’t Rush to Get to Know Him
Once you’ve established a connection, don’t get carried away by your enthusiasm; or worse still, your complete conviction that a just couple of days ago you met The One.
Give the attraction between you time to develop naturally. After all, there’s loads to discover. And the first thing is, is he single?
If you are an upfront kind of woman, you can ask him straight out. There’s nothing wrong with asking that when you’ve only just met him. But if you can’t be that blunt, then an easy way to find out is to drop him a compliment. End it by saying what a lucky lady his girlfriend is.
Getting to know someone is fun. When it’s a man and a woman who are mutually attracted, it’s even more fun. So savor it.
Discovering you have things in common is essential for any lasting relationship. It’s good to have (and keep) your own interests, of course, but you do need to have things you can share. And most importantly, you need to have similar values.
These are the things you should be discovering in the early days, before you start investing too heavily in the relationship.
How to Get a Boyfriend – Building the Connection Between You
Men make the decision very quickly about whether they want to get to know you on more than a superficial level. And how they decide has surprisingly little to do with your looks. Looks will get you noticed, but they won’t make a man see you as someone different, a woman he has to get to know better.
The thing is that men need more than just physical attraction if they are to see you as The One. There needs to be attraction and connection to make him see you as “girlfriend material”.
Keep your options open
And that means…Don’t see him too often at first.
Being too available will make a man lose interest faster than anything. You shouldn’t be seeing him as often as he wants to see you. Not only does this keep his interest at fever pitch; it also sets the pattern for the future. You should always keep a life of your own.
And don’t stop dating other guys. Until you have agreed to be exclusive, you should assume that, whether or not he actually says so, he may be seeing other women. It’s a big mistake to give him exclusivity when he has done nothing to deserve it.
Keep your clothes on
Guys want you to look good, but not tacky. Remember that a woman who is girlfriend material is someone he could introduce to his family.
So don’t dress too revealingly. Scantily dressed women project low value, which is the last thing you want to do. You are not the booby prize.
A pencil skirt, showing off your feminine shape, but finishing demurely at the knee, is much sexier and more alluring than a micro-mini with six-inch heels.
A man will enjoy using his imagination when your clothes only hint at what they are concealing. But he won’t be much interested in undressing you if he can already see all you have without getting off his bar stool.
And no man wants other men craning their necks to see down his girlfriend’s cleavage.
Show off your intelligence
Smart is sexy! You may think men find strong and smart women intimidating, but you’d be wrong (for everything you need to know about this, visit this page).
An intelligent man wants a woman he can talk to, and whose company he can enjoy. Men love to date smart women. So show him what you are good at, and even challenge him playfully sometimes. Don’t brag or try to put him down though. Just find an opportunity to show him what a master you are at your particular skill.
Being good at something is sexy. So don’t hide your light under a bushel. Show him your talents. He’ll enjoy it, and he’ll admire you too. Win, win!
Don’t be a downer
Everybody likes to spend their time with happy, positive people. Nobody likes a complainer, or someone who always see the worst in things.
Men especially dislike women who are bitchy. So don’t criticize or make catty remarks about other women. It reflects badly on you, and it makes you look jealous and insecure.
Worst of all is gossiping bitchily about the women who are supposed to be your friends. Nothing projects low value like that. A man will be bored and irritated by it, and will wonder why you can’t seem to find a friend you actually like.
Then Make Him Fall For You – Completely
By now you’ve got your man attracted, intrigued, and on the verge of falling in love. All you have to do is tip him over the edge. But unfortunately, this is where lots of women go wrong.
Remember that dating is a marketplace. A marketplace in which everybody’s looking not for a bargain, but for the best deal they can get.
Just like you, a man wants to feel his girlfriend has great social value, that she was much desired by lots of men, but that she chose him. Feeling like this brings out the best in a man. It makes him want to play at the top of his game when he’s with you.
And it makes him see you as girlfriend material.
So how do you make a man see you as that one special woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with?
Make being with you exciting and fun
Men are about actions, not words. You can’t just talk your way into a great relationship. So go easy on the long intimate talks and show him your adventurous streak.
Men bond by sharing physical experiences. When you spend time together doing physically demanding or exhilarating things, you create attraction and connection with him.
And when he sees how much fun he can have with you, he’ll be well on the way to falling in love.
Be your own woman
A man doesn’t want to feel he will have to go through life dragging you behind him. Don’t expect him to cure your insecurities; or to be the primary source of your self-worth. That’s your job.
Weighing him down with your emotional baggage will make him feel that you are too heavy a burden for him to carry. Have your own life, instead of trying to make him responsible for your happiness.
It also makes your time more precious. When he knows you already have a great life of your own, but you still want to make time to see him, you will seem far more valuable in his eyes.
Don’t be a drama queen
Men don’t like drama queens. Don’t make the smallest things that happen to you into huge issues that he has to solve. Endless emotional scenes will wear him down very quickly.
Men like women who are in control of their lives. Being a drama queen gives exactly the opposite effect. If you can’t cope with your own problems now, how could he trust you to cope with bigger issues in the future?
How to Get a Boyfriend (and Make Him Love You Forever)
Concentrate on just being together, having fun and enjoying the moment, instead of thinking too much about the future. Get to know him first as a person, instead of sizing him up from the start as a future husband.
You’ll know in time whether he really is The One.
And remember that he has an opinion about his future too. You can’t decide for him, only for yourself. That means you have to be the woman he decides he can’t live without.
But even the most unobtainable man can be drawn in and tamed by a woman who knows how to use her femininity to captivate him. Find out how to get him to see that you are The One by discovering the number ONE secret to making him love you.
Giving him too much love and not enough of what he really needs always ends in heartbreak, as it can actually drive him away. Find out how to get him to see that you are The One for him by watching this breakthrough video – you’ll be glad you did.
And have a pen or pencil ready so that you can take notes. You don’t want to miss any of this. It really the most important lesson about men you will ever learn!
This Post Has 4 Comments
I never seem to make it past a couple of dates, even when I thought the dates went well. What I am doing wrong?
Perhaps you are playing it too cool?
I know, it’s a bit much to hear that when you’ve probably been telling yourself ‘don’t look too keen or he’ll think you’re desperate!” It IS difficult getting the balance right, but a man needs to feel his date likes him, finds him interesting and funny and to feel confident she’d want to see him again. If he doesn’t get that feeling it makes him feel he’s probably wasting his time.
My boyfriend and I broke up because he wouldn’t commit. He said it wasn’t the right time, and we should wait. But I don’t see what for. If he’s willing to commit to me and to our relationship, then why can’t he do so? If he’s not, why doesn’t he just say so? I don’t want to be stuck in a kind of limbo, without knowing why or how long for. But I thought he was The One. How can I get him to do what I want (not necessarily commit; just be open with me)?
This is quite a common situation, and there’s an explanation for it which you can find here.
But don’t wait for a man. If he’s not on the same page as you, it’s time to move on.