When you (and your friends) want to pursue your search for Mr Right, what do you do? Go out on the town, hit a few bars, maybe go on to a nightclub, and keep an eye out for whoever’s about? And how often on those nights do you meet someone you even want to see again, let alone date? Sometimes, perhaps. But not that often. And when you do, how long does it last? Not long obviously, or you wouldn’t still be reading articles on how to meet Mr Right.

Why is this?

Well, who is your ideal Mr Right?

Where does he live? Where does he work? What are his interests? His hobbies? Think carefully about this, and you will get a clearer picture of how Mr Right would spend his average day; his average weekend. And when you know this you’ll have scaled your first hurdle; you’ll know where to find him.

How to Meet Mr Right: First Get To Know Him

Supposing, for instance, you like men who are in great physical shape. Well, such men only get into that kind of shape by spending a fair bit of time exercising. He’s likely to jog, attend the gym regularly, play sports and have a few hobbies that include strenuous physical exertion too. So if you want to meet Mr Right, hitting the bars regularly at midnight isn’t likely to work, as he’s probably at home in bed.

Now, we all need our downtime. And all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But Mr Right’s late-night appearances at the nocturnal hotspots will by definition be rare; so you’d be striking an enormous piece of luck if, for you, that did turn out to be how to meet Mr Right.

But this is just the start. You have defined your own standards for Mr Right, but what about him? Remember, dating is a marketplace, and just as you want the best, so does he. So what kind of woman would his Ms Right be? To a degree this has to be speculation, but you can make some intelligent deductions. And having made them, how close are you to that ideal woman?

Make Sure You Are Ms Right

What about the guy who’s in great physical shape? He’s probably not attracted to women who don’t keep themselves pretty fit as well. So in order to meet him, you’ll have to spend your early mornings jogging in the local park, and you’ll have to hit the gym regularly after work too – after all, that’s where you’ll find him. And if you’re a couch potato who is allergic to exercise, then you need to ask yourself again whether this man really is your Mr Right after all. After all, how compatible would you actually be?

The truth is that the opportunity to meet single, eligible men is infinite. You just have to look for them in the right places, and be able and willing to catch their interest when you do. But there’s no point in bending your efforts towards a man you might find desirable in theory, but who you would find impossible to attract, let alone live with in practice.

How to Meet Mr Right For You

So when you list your criteria for your particular Mr Right, be careful not to lose touch with reality. Don’t build up a picture of someone who is not only unlikely to be attracted to you, but with whom, as a result, you probably wouldn’t be happy anyway.

But on the other hand, try to focus on your positive qualities in a way that helps you define the Mr Right who is right for YOU. Do you enjoy intellectual discussions around some recondite subject? Then you’re more likely to meet Mr Right at a book club, a seminar or a lecture than at a car rally or at the baseball.

Do you like music or opera? Then when you attend these events, make sure you get coffee or a drink at a nearby cafe or bar afterwards. Not only will there like-minded people all around you, but if Mr Right is among them, you’ll have something ready-made to talk about too.

Remember That Mr Right Has a Life of His Own…

The truth is that interesting, attractive and desirable men don’t spend too much time getting mindlessly drunk in bars. They’re too busy living their lives in the way they want; and possibly not even thinking that much about meeting someone with whom to have a relationship. Because that’s the way lots of men live their lives.

But if they DO happen to meet a woman who’s company they enjoy, and who will add value to their lives, then they’ll be thrilled. They’ll want to spend time with her, and get to know her better.

You need to be that woman.

But you need to get out of the conventional “find a boyfriend” mentality, and go where your Mr Right is to be found. And that isn’t in the obvious places.

For instance, I like hiking. And it’s an unusual day when I don’t meet at least a couple of single men somewhere on my hikes. And what kind of men are they likely to be? Well, men who spend the day hiking are probably better company and a lot more interesting than men who prefer to spend the day at home in their boxers, drinking cans of beer and playing xbox.

Yet although I love hiking, I’m also intrinsically lazy. But I have two dogs, Milly and Poppy, and on those days when the sun is shining, but the day starts lengthening without me making any move towards the door; Milly consults the Ways and Means Committee, which advises her to make a perfect menace of herself until I do.

Dogs are also an infallible introduction service when out in the country.

…And That Life Needs to Tally With YOUR Life

But what suits me isn’t going to suit everybody. You need to be absolutely honest with yourself, about the way you really like to spend your time, and how you can use that not just to meet Mr Right, but to meet the Mr Right who is right for you.

So start building up a picture of your Mr Right. OK, you’ve probably done this before, but this time you’re going to go further. Once you’ve made your list of his basic characteristics, use them to build up a picture of how exactly Mr Right would spend his average day. When might he visit a coffee bar? The dry cleaners? The park? The grocery store?

(Did you know there are more single men in grocery stores between 6 and 7 in the evening than there are at baseball matches? No, nor did I. In fact I just made that up. But it’s probably quite close to the truth; as that is when single men usually do their grocery shopping.)

The thing is that the clearer your picture is of Mr Right, the better you’ll be able to predict where and when you are likely to run into him. And that way you’ll not only save on the money you’ve been spending in all those bars and clubs, you’ll be in trebling (at least) the chances that, finally, you really will meet Mr. Right.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Rachel

    I have a problem – well, either that, or the men I date have a problem. A lot of the men I’ve dated say I’m high maintenance, but I think I just have high standards. And I think having high standards is good. Am I right? Or are THEY right when they say I should be more compromising?

    1. Sarah

      It’s a conundrum, isn’t it? But I have just published a new post which might help you see things more clearly. Hope it helps!

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