Well, what do men really want? How do you attract a man and make him fall in love with you?
Do they want a sexy siren? Do they want a homemaker? Do they want a friend? What do men really want?
Many women put their all into their relationships, but all they get back is a man who dithers, a man who blows hot and cold, a man who withdraws and pulls away, or a man who dumps them and then marries someone else. Someone he just met.
You tried to be a great girlfriend. You gave him everything. And yet he didn’t give you that same devoted love back. He wouldn’t commit. And maybe he even just – left.
And the worst part is that he probably didn’t tell you why your relationship didn’t work for him. And if he did, it might not have been the whole truth – or even any of it.
Why What Men Really Want is Sometimes So Hard to Understand
So why? You’re smart. You’re successful. You’ve got great friends, and a great career. When you come up against a problem or a challenge, you find a way to solve it. So why is success in this one part of your life eluding you?
It is a lack of good men? It is you? The answer is; it’s neither. It’s about what men really want in a woman. And that doesn’t mean having to change yourself into something you’re not. It means showing all the fabulous qualities you already have in ways that make you irresistible to him.
When you understand men on a deep primal level, you’ll become the woman who “gets” him in a way no other women ever has. When you know how the things you say and do to a man affect him, you’ll know exactly how to create a powerful feeling of attraction in him; an attraction that puts you at the center of his world.
Independence is sexy. It’s also inspirational to a man. It tells him you are a woman with dreams and a purpose, with a great life of her own that he would be privileged to share.
This stops you being needy and shows how much you value him and your relationship. A man feels great when he wins the approbation and devotion of a high value woman.
But he also wants to feel needed. What men really want is for you have enough space in your great life for him. It’s important to him that, when you are together, you are present and focused and giving him all your attention. What he dislikes is a woman who is not present in the moment when he’s with her.
If you stay busy with your own life and your own interests when you’re apart, and have fun and great times when you’re together, you’ll be striking the right balance.
What you must avoid is making him the sole center of your world.
Many women do this, and they do it with the best intentions. They want to show a man how much love, how much value they have to offer him. But when you shower a man with love, and invest far more into the relationship than he does, a man feels he is being manipulated and coerced into a commitment. This is that last thing that men really want, and they will always resist.
It’s this that makes women believe that men just don’t want to commit. But most men DO want to find a great woman with whom they can build a life and be happy. With one proviso: they want to feel it was their choice. They don’t want to feel they were manoeuvered or forced into it.
2. Respect and appreciation
Did you know that men would rather be respected than loved? In fact, when asked which they would prefer, many men were puzzled because they couldn’t see ANY difference between them. Bottom line: if a man doesn’t feel respected, he won’t feel loved either.
So what makes him feel respected? Being appreciated.
The nagging wife is a hoary old joke, but the reason she’s been around so long is that it’s a man’s ultimate nightmare. It makes him feel utterly disrespected and unappreciated.
So what’s the answer? It’ simple. Let him know when he does things that make you happy. Concentrate on those, instead of on the things he gets wrong. Men love to make women happy; in fact the most common reason men give for leaving a woman is “No matter what I did, I just couldn’t make her happy any more”.
When he sees how happy he’s made you, he’ll want to repeat the experience. Nothing is more addictive to a man. And if there’s something you’d especially like him to do; tell him.
Don’t be the woman who pouts and sulks and says “Nothing” when a man asks you what’s wrong. Remember that men are not subtle, and they don’t pick up hints. It’s just not the way men communicate.
OK, so it’s not romantic when you have to tell a man explicitly what you’d like from him. But when he knows what you want, then he has the chance to get things right. And then, later, when he does do something wonderful out of the blue, it will be romantic.
You just have to put up with being a bit prosaic and pragmatic first.
3. Playfulness and Fun
Nothing builds a connection quicker and binds a man to you faster than having fun together. For women, talking is their natural way of connecting with people. But as we all know, men don’t always like to talk, especially about their feelings. Men like to play.
It’s not that talking isn’t important. But it won’t build a connection with a man, especially at the beginning of a relationship, in the way that playfulness and fun will. Sharing physical experiences that are exciting, challenging and fun is what convinces a man that being with you makes life just great.
And fun is an element that should always be at the center of your relationship. Teasing, laughing, and having fun activities that you love doing together is a vital glue. It stops things becoming stale and boring, so that your relationship stagnates and eventually dies.
So never forget to play and have fun.
Confidence is even sexier than independence. In fact confidence is at the root of independence, and of all the other qualities that men really want in women.
A confident woman is sure of her own worth and value. A confident woman is not needy, and does not depend on a man for her self-worth. She does not need anyone to make her happy. But when she meets a man who attracts her, who can make her life even better than it is alone, then she wants to make room in her life for him. Together they can share all they have to offer each other, and so life becomes even more wonderful.
A confident woman is not blind to her faults, but still believes that she would be a prize for any man. This is the kind a woman a man will move mountains to win.
Equality has made some women feel that nirvana lies in always being one of the boys. But guys are attracted to women because they are women. There’s a conundrum here.
If a man wants to share a beer or play poker, he’s already got people available for it – his friends. Guys are attracted to women for all the qualities they won’t find in their friends; softness, warmth, kindness, sensitivity, femininity.
Too many women nowadays try to mask their femininity in the belief that men will like them more if they act like men. This is the quickest way to go straight into the friend zone, and stay there.
Men decide very quickly whether or not they find a woman sexually attractive. And before you start spluttering your indignation, women do too. And once you’ve been categorized, it’s hard to escape. So don’t let this happen when things could have been so different if only you’d shown your natural femininity at the start.
So What Do Men Really Want?
What do men really want? They want to date a happy, positive, and feminine woman; not one who is critical, cynical or unsympathetic. It all comes down to feeling good when he’s with you, which is the vital incentive that makes any person want to spend time in another’s company.
If he’s saying things like: “Things are fine as they are now” or “If it isn’t broken, why fix it?”, then it means that deep down he’s not convinced that you are The One. He doesn’t want to make any irrevocable decisions, because he’s not moving forward in the relationship right now.
But you can change all this. You can change it by demonstrating the qualities that will make see you as the one woman he can’t afford to lose. The qualities that men really want in the woman he chooses for life.
When you surprise him like this, you let him think he is winning. And what do men really want? They want to win.
For a man, feeling that he is winning creates a relationship that always feels fresh and vibrant, and which gets better day by day. It all comes back to understanding and using these 8 steps to literally controlling a man’s mind…