Have you ever received a text and thought “Now WHAT made them send that?” Probably. Yet it doesn’t mean you’d never commit a texting faux pas yourself, especially when texting men. When you’re dating but not yet a couple texting could be the thing that makes or breaks your relationship. Fun and flirty, great. Sharing news or making plans to meet, fine. Asking for attention and reassurance, not so good. And then there are some absolute no-nos. So here are 5 text messages you should never send.
1. Texts You Have to Scroll Through
A good text should hold the receiver’s attention and spur him to reply. That means it should be short, and to the point. If he has to keep scrolling to get to the end, it’s too long. It also looks as if you have a pretty empty, meaningless life if you have the time and patience to type such lengthy effusions.
What leads women to send such texts?
Hourly bulletins about how their day is going. Texts full of redundant letters (Wowwwww!!!!!!!!) and emojis. Streams of consciousness. Any and every kind of pointless waffle. Or typing when drunk (don’t even think of it).
You are a happy person with a busy, satisfying life. Text him when you have something to say. Then he’ll jump on your texts and read them immediately instead of grinding his teeth and thinking “Not her again. What is it NOW?”
2. “Why Haven’t You Texted Me Back Yet?”
Sometimes you’re too busy to respond to a text, perhaps for several hours. Maybe you are going from meeting to meeting, working on an urgent deadline or driving long distance. There are many reasons why people might be dilatory in replying, and one of them is that they don’t think it’s that important. And then (especially if you suspect that’s the reason) you might be tempted to start being annoying.
“Why haven’t you texted me back yet?” is certainly one of the text messages you should never send. However keen on you he is, he’s not going to like it.
The same goes for sending the same text multiple times (because he hasn’t replied). Frantic texting doesn’t just make you look needy in every way (insecure and without anything else to think about), it makes you look crazy too. This kind of thing will really freak a man out.
3. Asking Him Where He’s Been
Anything that suggests checking up on him is a definite no-no. And no, you do not have the ‘right’ to know what he’s doing every minute of the day. He has a life of his own apart from your relationship and you should have one too. All successful relationships need trust to survive, and if you don’t trust him then why are you even with him?
So don’t text to ask where he’s been, or tell him that so-and-so saw him at ‘X’ and ask him what he was doing there. That’s not just creepy, it’s bordering on stalking. And don’t text late at night checking if he’s at home in bed alone. You’re not his jailer or his mother.
In a good relationship you will share news about your day quite naturally when you catch up with each other. And that’s how it should be.
4. Texts That Don’t Say Anything
This is texting for the sake of texting. You finish something at work and the hiatus make you think of him (which is quite natural). So you send him a text saying ‘Hi!’ or ‘What’s up?’ or worse still ‘I’m bored’. So he’s interrupted just as he’s trying to concentrate on something important with a pointless text from you and he’s irritated. He ignores it and goes back to work and 5 minutes later you text again: “Why haven’t you texted me back yet?”
That’s two text messages you should never send in five minutes.
Essentially they’re just requests for attention. And you shouldn’t use text messages like that. It makes you look needy and insecure even if you didn’t feel or intend it. Remember no-one can see your face when you text, so you have to convey your message in the words you choose. So avoid messages that don’t actually say anything.
5. Nudes or Explicitly Sexual Texts
Sending nude pictures is fine when you are in an established relationship with someone you trust who you know enjoys receiving them. But it’s never a good idea to send them before you are committed, unless sex really is all you want. But if you want a relationship then sending nudes to someone you’re still getting to know sets up the wrong vibes.
And even when you are committed, don’t send nudes at times when he’s unlikely to be alone, unless you really don’t care who sees them. It’s just not cool, and if he’s in love with you he won’t like it.
Make Your Text Messages Meaningful
Try to use your texts to add value by making them informative or amusing. Share a funny story. Tell him something that will interest him, or that he might find helpful. Make your texts into something he enjoys and looks forward to receiving. That’s how to make sure he reads and replies to them quickly, which is the best possible way to ensure you avoid the kind of text messages you should never send.
Remember how important attraction and connection is for building successful relationships. It’s vital to attract him emotionally as well as physically if you want to be together for ever. Learn more about attracting men in ways they can’t resist here.